So what’s your plan? That dreaded phrase from concerned loved ones. No one ever says this when you are at the top of your game, good career, husband, kids, big new house. That phrase wouldn’t make sense for them. People ask you what your future plans are when it’s obvious that your current situation isn’t a good one and there is a lack of progress. Um my plan? You mean working for minimum wage while living at home and no promotion coming my way doesn’t look like I have it all figured out? This might be fine if I was 18, but with a college degree and some crows feet it looks somewhat… well worthy of that question. I used to have a plan. Around 10 years old I decided I wanted to be a tennis pro. I practices 4-6 hours a day. I asked my parents to home school me in 4th grade which gave me more training time. My life was planned. Go pro. Play till I’m 34ish. Settle down and spend my fortune traveling the world doing photography and supporting any new hobbies. Well around 22 I realized that plan had a flaw. I’m not good enough and didn’t have the money to invest into getting better. Soooo… I quit planning. I was a free spirit. No plans. Wherever life takes me. That worked till I was 24 when life dropped me in a sinkhole.
I miss the days when no one asked about my “plan”, like when I was getting my film degree, or the assistant college coach, or a documentarian in Switzerland. You know how you compare yourself to friends or old classmates or exes to see who is more successful. Don’t lie.
Me: “Oh hey so and so. It’s been so long. What are you doing?”
Frienemy: “Oh married with kids, stable job.”
Me: “I’m traveling the world free of attachments.”
Frienemy: “Sounds lonely.”
Me: “Oh no it’s amazing.”
Secretly you both asses who is better off.
Compare, compete, conquer. Don’t act like you don’t do this. Well unless you’re like me now and you’ve been disqualified from the game. Now when I say what my life consists of I go from competition to condolences. In the past week I’ve met with 3 friends all who seemed legitimately concerned about my future. So my life isn’t going how I thought. I’m not a tennis pro, I’m not putting that degree to work, and I’m not married with children. I just don’t know what I want to do. I’m trying to figure out my next step so I’m open to opinions, but still I hate that stupid question. Don’t get me wrong I totally appreciate the questioners interest in my life. Also, I’m am extremely happy for my successful friends. Soooo happy. Sigh. Anywho.
So what’s my plan? Avoid meeting with friends… Or find friends who also don’t have a plan… but who’d wanna hang out with those losers.
On a positive note. Had fun walking Vive with my old friend Albert (soon to be Dr. Bui). This blog is in no way connected with our meeting.