A part of my 90 days plan to success one of my goals is to improve my social life. I can no longer avoid networking if I going to be putting my services out to the public. I’ve never been a huge socialite. I wouldn’t say I’m anti-social, but I wouldn’t say I’m social. I like the few friends I’ve made over my lifetime and don’t pursue finding any others. I think friends procure naturally. It is about your circumstances. Right now I don’t have any friends. I’d love to blame my circumstances, so I will. If I wasn’t living in the small minded sexist town I would be able to make friends. But due to circumstances I just don’t have any. I don’t really feel like I long for friends. Well yesterday I was talking to a friend, ok it was my counselor (aka paid pretend friend, which counts by the way) and mentioned my need to network and be social. I said I’m just not intrinsically motivated to interact with others and create relationships. My friend disagreed. She said everyone has a little intrinsic desire to have friends. Then I said jokingly, “ahhh I’m so lonely”. She just nodded. Whoa! What?! That shut me up. I did the uhhh pshhh uuughhh phssshhh squirm for a little while before I could regain my composure. Lonely?! Really?! I asked her, “Do I come off as some pathetic loser looking for friends?!” She replied, “That’s not what I said.” Then I got defensive. I tried to prove I was making an effort. Ok Ok. Well I did swing by my sister’s best friends birthday party before work, and not only because there was amazing food there and I was starving . After I stacked my plate I sat down into a bee swarm of menial conversation. Here is what the busy bees were saying.
1st bee: John is sooo cute with his new haircut.
2nd bee: Omg I know.
3rd bee: Ummm no guys, John is a dick. Remember he is a dick. (she obviously in love with him)
2nd bee: Oh ya he’s a major dick. Totally. (Doesn’t care as long as she is talking about boys)
1st bee: Uhhh ya. (not so secretly she still wants to bang John)
2nd bee: Omg I love this.
1st bee: What talking bad about people?
2nd bee: Uh ya. I mean no. Well ya a little.
I wanted shoot myself in the face… even though I definitely think the world could do without 3 dumb bees (haha I’m so funny. Friends… pshhh I entertain myself). This just justifies why I don’t need or want friends. Right? Luckily, I was only there for 20 minutes which included 4 more gossip convos I had to sit through. Who needs this shit?! Right. Well my “friend” said those aren’t the people you will become friends with. That’s all there seems to be in this town though. So I asked my friend if she had any friends, “You are young and professional do you have trouble finding female friends?” Well in college I had friends, but they aren’t here. So um yes.” Well looks who’s lonely now?! Still me. Even my boyfriend agreed with her. “What? I have you, my love.” He retorted, “But when I’m not around. You need friends. They are important to have.” Ok I got it. So I’m starting my search for female friends. I’m being specific because I never seem to have a problem making male friends (ew not like that). So these next 30 days will be my take on “I love you, woman”. But less cool and probably more crying. Let the hunt begin. Will you be my buddy?