Canada/Slovakian/Italian Wedding Aye?

October 28, 2015


After our trip to New York City we caught our flight to Buffalo for my best friend’s wedding. After one of the other bridesmaid’s picked us up we stocked up on alcohol at the duty-free before crossing the border. I guess drunkenness is a luxury in Canada. After having to wait an additional 6 weeks for Gabe’s passport I was hoping his first border crossing would have been a little more dramatic. We made it through the border check without a fuss and on to Niagara Falls. Luckily, our view was on the Canadian side cause I don’t know what the American side was looking at. It’s hard to see the falls when they are right underneath you. Stupid Americans. The nice thing about the Falls is that they are free. I love free sites. I haven’t seen many famous landmarks so I’m not sure if this is the norm. Can you see the Grand Canyon for free? Free or not the Falls were amazing. However, the city of Niagara Falls reminds me of Reno, Nevada, but more kid friendly. Like a permanent carnival town. Would I fly from California just to see the Falls? Nope, but I’m glad I had an excuse to be there because it is really quite a site.




 After wandering around Carnieville, Hana, the bride to be, picked us up. We then all headed to Dean’s (the groom) parents’ house where we would be crashing. From then on we got put to work on wedding prep. Well I did, Gabe hung back and took a nap. I quickly realized that mother-of-the-groom was the star of the show since Hana already had the Slovakian wedding the month before. Now I’ve never seen so many candles and artificial flowers outside of Michael’s and I hope to never again. I mean it was all very beautiful and traditional. When I’m at a wedding I pick out what I like and didn’t like to store in my non-eloping file. Everyone does this right? I’m assuming I’m like everyone else or that everyone is like me. Cause BAE. Duh. 


After we 1980s the shit out of the venue I got to chill by the pool with Gabe. Chill and open up a bunch of glow sticks for the kids. Way more up my ally.


Afterwards we headed back to the venue for the rehearsal. I haven’t always believed rehearsing is necessary until I went to a wedding that decided not to do it. Seeing a bride cry before the wedding should only be seen on reality tv. Luckily, this rehearsal went smoothly and quickly. There’s always that moment of truth where you find out where you are in the line-up. Closest to the bride is the best. Second to last. Shit. I mean it’s cool. I’m sure there’s a good reason. Biggest to smallest boobs. No I’d want those tig’ ol’ bitties far from me if I was the bride. Anywho. I love Hana’s new in-laws. There are such a big boisterous family. The rehearsal dinner was a huge bbq in the backyard. In a way I wish I had a huge family, but then when I thought of hosting a wedding with 200 people I changed my mind. Also, big families makes it hard to leave your hometown. 

On to the big day. Some day someone will have to tell me why it takes girls so long to get ready. “Ok guys we need to get up at 7:30am to get ready for pictures at 3pm.” Said no groom ever. First off, unless I’m going to a red carpet event I’m not paying anyone to do my makeup or hair. This is not because I’m good at it or because my sis is a makeup artist. Actually, if I was going be on the red carpet my sis would do my makeup and I still wouldn’t pay for it. Honestly, I don’t care enough to spend money on something I’ve been doing since I was… well 20 years old. I’m a late bloomer. Bottom line. I’m frugal. So as usual I’m ready in 30 minutes so I get assigned to steaming the dresses. I need a plot to take longer getting ready. I’ve seen girls straighten their hair only to curl it. I could contour. Whatever that is, but it sounds complicated, unnecessary, and time-consuming. After steaming all the dresses I then did some yoga and even had time to paint my nails. Then I took a nap. Next wedding they should have a masseuse. I’d pay for that. 

Now we were running late.  Best part of taking pictures before the wedding is that you don’t have to take them after. Taking pictures is great. Being in pictures is horrible.


After surviving smiling on command for an hour we went to the venue. There isn’t anything special or sweet to say about the ceremony. They were technically already married. It was still beautiful and I was happy for them. Blah, blah, blah. Let’s party. 

Wait. Before we could properly start the reception we had to do a wedding line or whatever it is called. All 20 of us in the wedding party stood in a long line and shook every guest’s hand. Now since it was an Italian wedding that was a hard hand shaking job. By the time I sat down at the bridal table I was ready for this purple cocktail that was everyone was drinking. We also did some Slovakian vodka shots to start off the toasts. There’s my Hana. Now Hana’s sister next to me had got a little head start so even her Slovak was starting to slur. Her English was no longer comprehensible. The last thing I understood her saying was how sad she was knowing her sister will never live in Slovakia again. My sister is a 6 hour drive away and I think that is too far. She wants to move to the East Coast, which would be terrible, let alone another country. I’m sad Hana won’t be living in California again, which is where we met in college. Ontario might as well be Slovakia. So bottoms up.


We all had fun eating, drinking, dancing, drinking. It was the perfect kinda party that a wedding should be. Open bar. It isn’t anything like my wedding will be… well except for the open bar. It’s the least you can do for traveling guests and if you want them to dance. My wedding will be a fraction of the people and definitely the price. 


The next day we all got up late and went wine tasting. Even though we live close to Napa we are not wine connoisseurs by any means. I couldn’t even name 3 types of wine. Red, white, bubbly? So while everyone was stocking up on fancy wine to take home Gabe and I enjoyed the Ice Wine. It’s sweet like syrup and probably an insult to wine snobs throughout North America.

 After the fourth vineyard we grabbed some picnic supplies and headed to Niagara on the Lake. That’s really what they call it. I’m glad that I got to hang out with Hana for another day. It’s hard to go to a wedding and never get to spend any time with the friend you’re there to see.


 We finished off the last night with another big family meal. It was such a great adventure. First NYC then my best friend’s wedding.


Couldn’t ask for a better vacation. I hope every wedding I have to attend is near somewhere I want to travel. Next wedding I’m in better be in Hawaii. Anyone know how to find cheap flights to Hawaii? 

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